Archive for: December, 2005

Ridding Your Church of Problem People

[Disclaimer: This is written from the perspective of one who is intent upon destroying a church. Do NOT try it at home! Take it as a warning. It really does happen.]

The house church model presents new opportunities for pulling away from those pesky, underperforming types which eventually show up in every group. Unlike the brick and morter churches which open their doors to everyone at the same specific times each week, house churches offer the simple ways and means to quickly, quietly, and permanently exclude those who are keep lowering your curve.

Here’s the typical scenario: Announce to your church that God is calling you to leave. Act very sad. Deny having any agenda. Then, a few days later, just slip around the corner and pull out your cell phone and buddy list and start dialing. You know the rest…

Remember, always plan ahead for deniability. Attribute everything to God’s direct revelation to you and be highly offended if anyone questions it. If the underachiever later asks why you really didn’t leave and why he or she wasn’t invited to continue, just say that all your buddies actually invited themselves and you couldn’t turn them away.

Easy as a pie.

3 Comments